A woman who lives in a cemetery. She buried her “Universe” whose name is Andriy and stayed by his side

Author:
Kateryna Lykhohliad
Editor:
Kateryna Kobernyk
Date:
A woman who lives in a cemetery. She buried her “Universe” whose name is Andriy and stayed by his side

Halyna Kobzar at the grave of her deceased husband Andriy Rudyuk.

lryna Vlasiuk / «Бабель»

Halyna Kobzar has many ideas that could land her in prison. For example, burn down the “Moscow” church in the cemetery, which she has tried to do more than once. But the woman doesn’t want to go to prison. She supposes that it’s not the best place for a mother of three children. Her old one is Stas (16), the next one is Vlada (10), and the youngest — Severyn (3). The youngest has her father’s eyes. Her father died in the war. His name was Andriy Rudyuk, but Halya calls him [her] “Universe”. Before bringing “Universe” to the cemetery, she lay next to him in the morgue for two days. After the funeral she moved to the cemetery herself. It was dark there. There was mud and garbage lying around, and vagrants were wandering around and stealing flowers from the graves. Halyna, in turn, had a hot temper and a wooden stick. Thanks to the first one, she opens the doors to the offices of officials. The second one is against thieves and “Moscow priests” who have settled near the “fallen greatness”. She launched her personal war in the cemetery for the memory of the dead two years ago and has almost won. Now there is an alley of fallen heroes with 700 graves with monuments and flagpoles. So that passers-by could see the fallen heroes from the street, Halyna “torn down” the cemetery wall. Andriy’s grave is illuminated by lanterns, so “it can be seen from space”. The Babel correspondent Kateryna Lykhohliad spent a day with a woman who actually “lives” in the cemetery. She immersed herself in her pain and wars, and saw how much life has unfolded around “those who should never die”.

Halya gives names to everything

An endless field of blue and yellow flags on the avenue of fallen soldiers at the Berkovets cemetery in Kyiv. In the middle of this field, in the 6th row, lies Halynaʼs "Universe".

"Hi, honey! Whatʼs up here? Are you lying down? Well, of course. What else is he supposed to do?" she greets her husband.

A woman kisses a gravestone and sits down next to it on a garden swing — here she sits from morning to evening. Smiling Andriy looks at the photo on the slab with bright blue eyes. This photo was taken by his brother when the man managed to intercept an enemy "bird" and use it to blow up the Russian position.

"Look, what a handsome man, isnʼt he? Very handsome. I have a good taste. He had very kissable cheeks. I have never seen such cheeks on anyone else in the world, like just only for kissing. Itʼs really hard for me to live, [while] my husband is so super. Itʼs hard when you lose [your own] Universe. But it is what it is," says Halyna.

There is a flower garden around Andriyʼs grave. On the grave are fresh chrysanthemums, a childʼs drawing blurred by rain, and a bunch of lanterns.

"At night, he can be seen from space!" says Halya proudly.

"Universe" died in May 2024 in the Serebryansky Forest. He died instantly — a fragment pierced the aorta.

Halya spent two days with Andriy in the Kyiv morgue.

“I hugged him. He was just lying straight. So I warmed his shoulder. So, due the physical processes that occur with the body after death, as it thaws, I hear blood flowing. Then I shout: ʼHe’s alive!ʼ, but they tell me: ʼMaybe you’re finally going home?ʼ That’s how it was.”

Even before the funeral, in a corner near the elevator of the house where her husband grew up, Halya made a place of remembrance. And then there was the cemetery. Andriy’s brother came, and his comrade came.

“And then there was a kind of splicing,” the woman remembers poorly the period after.

From behind the monument to Andriy, Halyna takes out a wooden stick. This stick is called “Marfa”. Halyna gives names to everything.

“There’s no telling who [or what] this ʼMarfaʼ hasn’t beaten. It’s covered with a spider-web because it hasn’t worked for a long time,” the woman smiles.

Halyna first used “Marfa” when she suspected that local vagrants were stealing things from graves. It was in July 2024. A few months after Andriy’s death, the woman decorated the grave with lanterns — “because it was very bright”.

One day, she came to her husband’s house and saw that the lanterns had been stolen. Halyna suspected a young homeless man who often wandered around the sector. She followed him and found two huge bags with toys, lanterns, garlands, and sweets: “I went to the woods there, and [found out that] he was sleeping there. Oh, God, I beat him so hard! I beat him more than enough!”

Halya shows the stick “Marfa”.

lryna Vlasiuk / «Бабель»

The next time the woman took on a suspicious old woman.

“There was such a saint who used to walk around here and pray at every grave. I respect all customs and traditions, but not when you fucking steal — it’s not the same at all. If you can’t just take candies, then you won’t come here [at all].”

Halyna doesn’t believe in such a saints — she shook out stolen things from the elderly woman’s bag. Then she decided that no strangers would enter the territory of the soldiers’ burial grounds.

Halyna began to complain to the head of Kyivʼs Municipal Security Service about the patrolsʼ inactivity: "We had one — Kolya — here. Instead of patrolling, he rode his bicycle near the church. I called him ʼKolya-the-cyclistʼ."

The security at the site was changed several times before she passed Halynaʼs trial period.

"I say: this one works bad; this one sits in the [guard] booth and not come out; this one is [whatever]... I can let them rest while I am at the site, because if Iʼm there, no one comes here," the woman says.

At the cemetery, the guards were changed, until Halyna said "yes".

lryna Vlasiuk / «Бабель»

When Halyna first got to grips with all of it, relatives were walking like on a swamp in the area where the war dead were buried. There was no road or lighting. There was only garbage lying among the graves, and homeless people were walking around.

"There used to be a garbage dump here [in the cemetery area]. I once saw them digging a grave in the 8th row and digging up a tyre. It was so big — from a tractor or who knows [from what]."

Andriyʼs grave began to collapse, and the wooden bench next to it started to stand vertically. Then the woman called Tolik — the son of husbandʼs comrade, Uncle Benya — for help. They carried handfuls of earth, and filled the grave. There were no workers yet, there was nothing [at all]. Uncle Benya now lies nearby [Andriy], in the 9th row. His son Tolik was missing for a year. Then he was buried in plot 146.

When Halynaʼs patience ran out, she went to "The Last Way" — thatʼs what the woman calls the municipal institution that serves the cemetery. In fact, itʼs called "Specialized Complex of Municipal and Household Services Enterprises". Halyna thinks the name is long and complicated, so she calls it "The Last Way". Now everyone calls it like that.

Two years ago, when she had just “settled” in the cemetery, the city was delaying the installation of monuments to heroes. Either the relatives did not allow the work to begin during the mourning period, or they could not establish the order of events — itʼs unknown.

The relatives of the deceased were confused. Halyna took it upon herself to organize them. She suggested creating an association and taking on this burden — on the condition that her Andriy be the first to have a monument erected. The association was called the “Pantheon of Fallen Greatness”, and the process began. The lights were turned on at the site. They began installing monuments and laying tiles between the rows.

Soon, Halya will take on “Marfa” again — a new conflict will break out at the cemetery.

"You like Ukraine and cherry pies. But as for me — you love me"

Andriy was always on her side.

“I’m very emotional. Iʼm this kind [of people] that can hit [someone]. I was the child that other children’s parents told me not to be friends with. So, when something happens, I get downright aggressive. And he’s always [said]: ʼSunshine, I’m with you, everything is fine.’ And that’s how it [the aggression] could let me go. There’s no one to say [it] to [me] now,” says Halya.

The woman asks not to be called a widow.

“Who are you [then]?”

“Iʼm my husbandʼs wife.”

Halyna with her children two years ago.

lryna Vlasiuk / «Бабель»

They met more than 20 years ago, when they were both 17.

Andriy is from Kyiv. Halyna is from the Ternopil region. They met at the Theater Square in Ternopil. The guy came there for a meeting from the military school where he studied. Halya was also a student. She was studying to become a general trauma surgeon.

Andriy originally speaks Russian. Although, Halyna retaught him: “He told me: ʼI like you’ [in Russian]. I said: ʼNope, guy, you [may] like Ukraine and/or cherry pies. But as for me, you not like, you love meʼ.”

She has a chain around her neck, and thereʼs a silver wedding ring from his finger on it. Halyna proposed to Andriy a few months after they met. Although, he refused her because his ego was hurt: “Well, it was [such a situation] not like a man [as for him]. He was going through a difficult time (at that time), and he didn’t have money for a wedding ring and all that stuff.”

Six months later, he proposed to her in front of the entire Galician family. She refused him because she has too proud [person]. In the end, they didn’t officially get married. They only got a church wedding a year later. Halyna is a non-religious person, and she just respects traditions.

On the chain, along with Andriyʼs wedding ring, hangs a silver token with text about dad — Halya gave it to him when her youngest son Severyn was born.

The woman wears a chain with a ring and a token of her deceased husband.

The woman wears a chain with a ring and a token of her deceased husband.

lryna Vlasiuk / «Бабель»

Andriy had a difficult childhood. He grew up without a mother from an early age, dreamed of his own family and got what he wanted. They built a large family, where three children were born. The eldest — Stanislav — was born in 2010.

A few years later, the war began. Andriy and Halyna both went to the ATO. They were there in turns: he as a soldier, and she as a medic. They were half a year in the fields, and half a year in the hospital.

"Nobody mobilized anyone. We went to war voluntarily. Itʼs all because we know history. This is probably the main reason. Once upon a time, in 1918, Ukraine intended to be independent and free for three months, and then it was under occupation for a long time," explains Halyna.

In 2016, the family had a second child Vladyslava. In 2022, the Great War began, and on February 25, Andriy packed up and went to fight again. This time — alone, because it was already a “different war”.

At first, he defended his native Kyiv, then his unit was transferred to Donbas.

Andriy went to war back in 2014.

Andriy went to war back in 2014.

Особисті архіви Галини Кобзар / «Бабель»

We saw each other several times a year. In the meantime, we regularly “went on virtual dates”:

“He called me ʼmy museʼ, and I answered him: ʼYou are not such a good poet for me to be your muse, but okay.ʼ

ʼI invite you on a date.ʼ

ʼWhere?ʼ

ʼTo the park.ʼ

ʼAt what time?ʼ

Then I tell him what time I will walk with the children. I sit down on a bench, he calls on a video call, and we have such a date,” recalls Halyna.

Andriy got in touch several times a day. This was a mandatory rule. His wife introduced it after he disappeared for two weeks at the front once. In search of her husband, Halya got to the command: “Everyone was summoned to the battalion commander, everyone knew that they were going to get a fuck, but no one knew what for. It turns out that this is because all of them were looking for my Rudyuk Andriy Valentynovych there.”

The couple had a third child — Severyn — in 2023. When Andriy was called up for his last combat mission, he was watching a video of Severyn that Vlad had recorded.

Our conversation is interrupted by a woman in black approaching Andriyʼs grave. Halya quickly jumps off the swing and runs to hug him.

"My love!" she shouts [to her].

"This is our Ms. Viktoria. She is our financial director. When we need something, we take care of [it] by ourselves, [then] Ms. Viktoria collects all the money and buys everything [we need]. She is a very responsible person and very beautiful," said Halyna [to us].

Viktoria lost her son in the war.

Viktoria lost her son in the war.

lryna Vlasiuk / «Бабель»

A beautiful woman in black clothes and black glasses comes here to see her son. Heorhii (39), a mortarman, 241st brigade, 130th battalion of the Territorial Defense Forces. He died near Pokrovsk. Due to heavy shelling, his body could not be retrieved for 5 months. To return his son, Viktoria involved acquaintances from SBU and GUR. He is buried in the 19th row.

“He has no children. No family. He left me alone. There are no grandchildren. No one. So I go to him every day, talk, tell him how was my day. It is very difficult, but you have to live somehow, because who will come to him if not me?” says the woman. Tears are visible under the black glasses.

Viktoria is the opposite of Halyna. She is calm and delicate. She relies on Halynaʼs hot temper like a crutch.

"Iʼm more gentle, and sheʼs spirited. I really like that, because if it werenʼt for her, I would probably have completely became limp here. She always pushes me and says: ʼEnough whining, do something!ʼ So we constantly plant roses here on the plot, then we make some flower beds, then we organize events for the day of remembrance of soldiers. These are our angels. This is our family. Although, somehow you get distracted from all this," the woman says.

There are families who have been waiting for news of their relatives for years. Halya points to the grave — the boy whose father had been looking for a year and 8 months is buried there. And a little further (in the 3rd row) lies Yuriy Balanchuk, a member of GUR. A posthumous Hero of Ukraine.

He died in October 2023 during a battle in the Black Sea, ramming one of the Russian boats. Yuriy saved the lives of his comrades. Thanks to him, the intelligence fighters were evacuated.

“He died in Crimea. His wife says that after death, his body was tortured, and his nails were pulled out,” Halya recounts.

Among the 700 people buried on the Alley of the Fallen, 52 soldiers were missing. Halyna suggested that monuments be erected first for those whose relatives had been waiting for a long time. Her initiative was supported, but not by everyone.

A group of relatives (numbering about a dozen people) spoke out against it. Halyna calls them “blessed ones”.

Halya believes that monuments should first be erected to those soldiers who were missing in action.

lryna Vlasiuk / «Бабель»

She says, the group even submitted a petition to the Kyiv City Council, which — however — did not collect the required number of votes. Halyna explains that there is no order set by the city, cause they do not care how the monuments are installed.

The priority is determined here, on the spot. So Halyna ordered the contractors to first make [the monuments] for the missing:

“Because if a soldier died in 2022-2023 (even in 2024), and was buried only in 2025... I would not want to be in that family’s place for a single second then. I had the opportunity to lie next to my husband [and hugging him] in the morgue for 2 days. And someone’s mother (for example, Ilchenko) spent 19 months looking for him in the Russian chats, like everywhere. They gave [away] only a bone and a chevron. And these “blessed ones” say that we are in the same conditions. Due to the circumstances of the war, we have not been in the same conditions for a single day.”

Halyna began to be accused of various things: that she measures human pain, or that she has her own quarry from which stones are transported for monuments.

“When our ʼblessedʼ group started saying that I was a corrupt person, I cried a lot. I always react this way to human hypocrisy,” the woman says.

Once the conflict reached its peak. It came to Halynaʼs ears that a woman from the group of opponents wished her child the same participation as she had — to bury her child. That time Halyna did not cry: "I had a liter of tea. It was very good tea, so tasty one. I washed her [with tea]. The sanction of the article provides for a fine of UAH 120."

Halyna invites me for coffee at “Cold Feet”. The coffee shop at the cemetery is actually called something else... The woman doesn’t remember who exactly called it “Cold Feet”, but we have a reason to think that it was Halyna [who did it].

On the way to the cafe we pass a wooden church. The woman calls it “Moscowian”.

“I wanted to burn them down several times. But, firstly, it’s a pity for the building, and secondly — they’re on the alarm system. The ʼrexesʼ will come and twist me. I actually have so many ideas that could put me in prison, but I can’t implement them,” says Halyna.

A church on the territory of the Berkovets cemetery.

A church on the territory of the Berkovets cemetery.

lryna Vlasiuk / «Бабель»

The temple belongs to the UOC MP and is located opposite the Alley of Fallen Heroes. The woman says that the church has arbitrarily seized land in the cemetery. Babel checked her words, and the Kyiv City Administration told us that they do not have a lease agreement.

One day, the local priest entered the section of the buried soldiers and began to rule. The woman asked him to leave:

“I asked him in a not bad way — not quite in a regular way, and with emotions (of course), but even without swearing. I asked him not to come here, not to desecrate their memory, not to humiliate their deed. He, in turn, started praying. It got me into a rage,” Halya went for “Marfa” then and hit him [with it]. The priest ran away. Along the way, the women who brought him here also were hit [with “Marfa” by Halya].

One of his “blessed” relatives invited him to the alley:

“We have a Hero of Ukraine here. He had a very good mother, a very good brother, but a very crazy grandmother. She has one foot in the grave, and she is the one who dragging the Moscowian devil here. I say [to her]: ʼHe prayed for [your] grandson to be killed. How do you like this idea?ʼ They bless weapons, they bless missiles, tanks for war. That is why I fiercely despise such people,” Halya does not believe that this church has renounced Moscow, and wants it not to be in the cemetery at all.

"We donʼt have orphans here, but we have scum-relatives"

Andriy, unlike Halya, always justified people.

We return to his grave. The woman sits on the swing and continues the story:

“Do you think we didn’t have a scandal? Oh, we did! Only it was always one-sided, because he couldn’t stand yelling. The worst our scandal began with the words: ʼAndriy Valentynovych, I have a complaint [to you]ʼ. He immediately said: ʼI’m going to go for a walk with the children.ʼ In general, I’m in a game for anything. I really like to make a scandal. But if you have a husband who doesn’t [like it], then you won’t be able to get along very well.”

Lunchtime.

Halya picks up her older son and asks to put the youngest to bed. I ask her how the children perceive her being constantly at the cemetery. Stas complains. He is a teenager, he is already in a bad mood for anyone, and he has to look after the little one.

Andriy always dreamed of a family.

Особисті архіви Галини Кобзар / «Бабель»

“I was very unwell for a while. I didn’t go out onto the balcony for a year and a half because I knew I would jump out of the window. I asked for an exhumation. It seemed to me that I had buried a living husband. Then I decided that it was already affecting me, and affecting the children,” she recalls.

Then Halya took a break and took her family to the “dead sea for the poor”, in Solotvyne. Resting with children is the rare moment when she doesn’t appear at the cemetery. The woman comes here in the morning and leaves at five in the evening. She picks up Severyn from kindergarten, feeds him, walks with him, and in the evening she returns to the cemetery again. Today is a day off, so the older one [brother] looks after the little one.

“I come because, besides my ʼUniverseʼ, I have my dear family here,” says Halya. She doesn’t remember all the relatives of the fallen, but she knows exactly who is buried in which row.

A car pulls up to the alley. A young woman gets out with a small child in her arms. Halya runs to hug them.

“This is Ihor Klymovych’s wife. This is [their] first child born without a father.”

The girl’s name is Erika. Her father, whom she will never see, gave her this name. Ihor suggested naming the child when his wife was still pregnant, July 7. And on the 30th, he died.

“At first I doubted it, and then it became difficult to argue,” says a woman named Sasha.

The daughter of the deceased (Ihor Klimovych) Erika and his wife Sasha.

The daughter of the deceased (Ihor Klimovych) Erika and his wife Sasha.

lryna Vlasiuk / «Бабель»

Her husband served in the Third Assault Brigadeʼs corinthian service. Erika was born three months after his death, on October 14.

"The daughter of the ideologist of the Third Assault Brigade was born on the day the Ukrainian Insurgent Army and the Third Assault Brigade were created. She herself chose when to be born," Sasha smiles.

Another guy died in the “Troika”, whose mother we meet at the cemetery. Yaroslav Nedashkivsky was 21 years old. Despite his young age, he was eager to go to war three times.

The first time he joined the army at the age of 18. He was sent home.

The second time — at 19 — he was taken to the “Carpathian Sich”. But after the death of his commander, he was returned again.

The third time he went to the Third Assault Brigade, went through a long selection, prepared for a year — and in 2024 he went to war. He died in the same year. He spent two months at the front.

“He didn’t even really fight. I just sometimes think if only he could at least enjoy what he wanted [in his life]. I don’t even know what I’m thinking…” Diana sighs.

Her son studied applied mathematics at KPI, was smart, knew history well, admired the figure of Yevhen Konovalets. The guy was convinced — to truly know war, you need to go through the infantry. He lied to his mother that he was “flying on wings”.

She learned about her sonʼs death from a note that a representative of TRC stuck on the door.

Diana comes to the cemetery to see her son. Yaroslav died at the age of 21.

Diana comes to the cemetery to see her son. Yaroslav died at the age of 21.

lryna Vlasiuk / «Бабель»

“The most unfortunate thing is that such guys did not leave behind children,” says Halyna.

Diana also met her at the cemetery: “She is sharp and awkward. I really respect this awkwardness of hers, because she does not try to please everyone (but says it like it is). But what she does surpasses everything. She does so much for the memory of our children that no one else does so much.”

Halya shows that wild grass have sprouted between some of the monuments: “We don’t have orphans here, but we have scum-relatives who don’t want to take care of the graves [of their children].”

Halya canʼt stand neglected graves and "stupid" people. The latest scandal was when someone threw the flag of Ukraine in the trash.

"This is an insult to state symbols, this is criminal liability. I say then: ʼIʼll put you in prisonʼ. For me, every little thing is super important. When the Plast scouts come, we will hand over all the flags to them, and they will dispose of them according to the proper ritual. And when people don’t understand that this deserves respect, I start shaking [from anger]," she says.

The woman leads us to the Cossack Cross — a symbol of fallen soldiers since ancient times. Halya calls it a “poor relative”, because when hundreds of relatives gather around it on memorial days, they don’t have enough space. Near the cross is a stele with the names of the fallen. There, the contractors made a bunch of mistakes. Halya took it upon herself to fix them, and now they’re redoing them.

The Cossack cross, near which the families of the fallen gather on memorial days.

The Cossack cross, near which the families of the fallen gather on memorial days.

lryna Vlasiuk / «Бабель»

At Christmas and Easter, families here set the table — always in clay dishes. They put plates for the fallen nearby. They gather on other days, even celebrate birthdays. On the anniversary of Andriy’s death, Halya organized a torchlight night at the cemetery. And for an hour and a half, she read out the names of each soldier.

“I talk about the cemetery everywhere because I want to talk about them. It’s important to me that they never die. I work hard on this,” says Halyna.

Nearby is a flower garden with roses and barberry, which the city bought.

“I actually wanted a red barberry, but they gave me a random one, and I said ʼthank you’. When something needs to be done at the cemetery, Halya goes to the “Last Way” or the Kyiv City Council and simply says: It needed to be done. It’s hard to refuse her. The deputies vote and allocate money. She likes this concept.

Then the woman already controls the work of the contractors on site.

“There was one nuance, I had to have one thing. I called and called again, and then they told me: ʼWeʼre all already sick of you. We’ll give you everything [you need], just get off.’ That suits me. If I need to pester them, I’ll do it. It’s not a problem for me.”

As soon as we sit down on the garden swing again, the father of Eva Reuter (a paramedic from the “Hospitallers”) approaches Andriy’s grave with a piece of cake. Today is his child’s birthday.

Eva died this year during a massive attack on Kyiv on August 1. The girl was on duty with the rescuers, and at the moment when she was helping the wounded, Russia struck a second time.

Eva was buried next to the military site, in the civilian part.

“I will say that when the fence [near the cemetery] was removed, it feels like we can breathe again. If you had the hiccups, that was us [thinking about you]. We were talking about you,” the man turns to Halya.

Eva Reuter died while rescuing people in Kyiv.

Eva Reuter died while rescuing people in Kyiv.

lryna Vlasiuk / «Бабель»

Halya also forced the city authorities to demolish the stone wall around the Alley of the Fallen. She wanted the “fallen greatness” to be visible from the road to people passing by.

Instead, a wrought-iron fence and a monument in the form of a warrior angel in full gear, who covers children with his wings, will be installed here. The children are holding Ukraine in their hands, depicted in the form of a map.

“This is a symbol of the fact that they died for the future of the state,” says Halya.

Children

On Halyaʼs finger is a ring that Andriy gave her when her youngest son was born, on February 14:

"Instead of bringing food to a hungry woman after giving birth, he went to get a ring. Because how is it Valentineʼs Day possible [without it], and heʼs coming to me without a gift? No. He always came with flowers, always a bouquet for me and the little one. If I knew how much those flowers cost, I would probably slow him down a little. When I bring him flowers now, I see how expensive they are."

The sun begins to set. Halya kisses the gravestone again, and we leave the cemetery. Itʼs time for Severyn to wake up and eat.

The woman has a personal playground under the house: a slide, a swing and a house. Halya made it for her youngest child, so that she wouldnʼt have to go to the park. The woman has greatly narrowed her circle of friends, "because they will put her in prison one day”.

“Thatʼs the only reason. This is a marginal population, and there are a lot of them in the park. ʼYour husband died, but I donʼt need a hero, I need a living dadʼ, and ʼI didnʼt send him thereʼ, and ʼthey know what they are fighting for, because they get UAH 100 000 each [for serving]ʼ. How can I hear this? I tell you, Iʼm going to go to prison [after this words]. Donʼt you know, for how long can they put me there [for a crime]?"

Severyn likes to play hide-and-seek.

lryna Vlasiuk / «Бабель»

At Halyaʼs home, there are very strict rules — anything that creates danger is forbidden.

In the house, there is a husband’s electric scooter, almost new — he only managed to ride it once. It is still packed. The woman still cannot sort out his things. The eldest son ordered a gift for Saint Nicholas — to ride his father’s scooter. Halya said that Nicholas would not take such wishes into account:

“I say: ʼThose children who are substitute for their parents ride scooters, but I have all of them counted and all of them neededʼ.”

Ten-year-old Vlada still thinks that chips and crackers are sold from the age of 18.

Stas is strong in studies. He is going to go to the Kyiv-Mohyla University. Vlada has artistic abilities. She draws beautifully.

"I scream very loudly. I speak loudly, and I scream so loudly that it can be heard in Zhytomyr. I threaten that ʼIʼll beat you up nowʼ, and they laugh at me. I love my children very much," says Halya.

A smiling Severyn comes out to play from the entrance. He has his fatherʼs blue eyes and "kissing cheeks". In general, he looks like Andriy. Severyn is three and a half years old. He is testing the strength of the world and Halya, whose strict rules do not work with him.

Severyn drags all the toys he has to us, and sincerely brags. Halya counts to ten, and Severyn runs to play hide-and-seek. His friend Hordiy comes out for a walk.

Halya and Severyn on the playground near the house.

Halya and Severyn on the playground near the house.

lryna Vlasiuk / «Бабель»

Andriy saw his youngest son twice in his life. The first time was in the maternity ward. Then her husband came back from the front for ten days, and Halya ordered the doctors that she had to give birth while he was on leave. The next day, thatʼs what happened. She recalls that Andriy took them from the maternity ward with a cortage. The second and last time he came when the little one was a year old.

Andriy was a senior soldier.

“He was a very responsible person and a good soldier. He went through the entire war without a single wound,” says Halya.

After the birth of his third child, his wife asked him to leave the army for 6 months. Despite years of fatigue, Andriy did not want to abandon his people, but during one of his vacations, Halya forced him to write a report under dictation. He was supposed to return home on May 20, 2024.

“Although, on May 12, he died. This will always be my problem and my fault, because I should have made a scandal earlier,” she says.

Halya will not marry a second time. She says, her children will not accept it. But above all, she will not accept it:

"If you lived well with your husband, you will always compare. What new husband will like this comparison? Because he will always fall short 100%. This is the first point. The second one is if you get into a relationship with a military man again, you will be flashbacked, because you have already buried one [military husband]. Therefore, no."

I ask what she will do when she wins all her wars. She says she will take a book and sit on the swing next to Andriy: “We will kick out the priests, build a fence, build a monument, deliver the monuments and thatʼs it. You can just come and chill.”

lryna Vlasiuk / «Бабель»